. The Dessert Years .

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Posting as I take a break from packing. As tomorrow I will depart for my trip to the beach.

A vacation is having nothing to do and all day to do it in.  ~Robert Orben

An adventure is, by its nature, a thing that comes to us. It is a thing that chooses us, not a thing that we choose. ~G.K. Chesterton

This would be today’s song …

As my DH and two sons chat and relax on a sunny, breezy Sunday afternoon.

It is a very fine house.

You know when are driving along and suddenly you glance over and notice a police vehicle … And you are overcome with a rush of adrenaline due to that complete sense of panic and wonder as you check your speedometer:?:

Of course (most of the time) you know you are not speeding but the f-e-e-l-i-n-g remains — real and intense.

Feelings has been remaining with me this week. And sort of like the feelings I just described, this week’s f-e-e-l-i-n-g-s had no tangible basis — just there. Lurking. Darting in and out of the moments of my days.

However, yesterday afternoon I was on “Nana-duty” enjoying nature-study on a warm Spring afternoon in the company of a dear friend’s young children, chatting with her (and her teenage daughter) as we all sipped on ice coffee drinks and munched on homemade cookies. The “feeling-fog” lifted and the bright light of clarity illuminated my mind.

Good times.

Feelings are not a reliable source of information … Despite their intense campaign to convince us otherwise. ~TJR

to-do list blog

To-Do lists and distractions? Yep, these are my buzz terms today.

To-Do lists are tools to obtain focus; distractions interrupt focus but also reminds me when to re-focus, clarify and regroup.

And … As I attempt to shorten the gaps of chasing the proverbial and illusive “delicate butterflies” (AKA distractions) fluttering through my days and across the Paths of Purpose, which take me in the direction of my dreams, I am slowly realizing that I am seeing Progress.

Progress that allows me the joy of victory, which allows me to accomplish what is in my heart to do.

Although there are moments (and days!) when I believe I am merely experiencing limited success … At least by my terms … I am moving forward; I am delighting in the process; I am attaining that which I once believed to be impossible,

Did I mention I tend to be a bit of a perfectionist? I am a recovering perfectionist though! I realize the value of slow and steady — of consistency and dedication and focused effort, of To-Do lists and yes, even distractions.

I have been (mostly) liberated from being Driven; trading it for Determined, and enjoying the ease of Acceptance. The ability to walk through a time of great change consists of an attitude of “one step at a time” and dealing with situations and people differently if only a degree at a time.

Which is good news to this “all or nothing” recovering perfectionist …

So, this week (via my quiet times and conversations with beloved friends) I was reminded that often times what we desire to attain, to experience, to literally dance in the sun about is sometimes (usually) already there — right there in front of us. (Albeit in the “raw materials” stage! )

Consider the awesome beauty of a rainbow …

Newcastle, Oklahoma

Merely moisture and light … Like watercolors brushed over a blue canvas, simply awaiting the moment of timing and perspective so as to display a spectrum of color.

Change is like that.

Merely To-Do lists and distractions mingled together, simply awaiting the moment of timing and perspective so as to display a spectrum of living color via intervals of order.

To-Do lists and distractions? Yep, these are my buzz terms today.

There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity. ~Washington Irving, The Sketch Book, 1820

Kindergarten. That space in time when moms typically let go of their “babies” and said babies enter government schools for the first time. However, I never experienced that with my third child. He has been home-schooled since birth and it has truly been one of my most treasured gifts of motherhood for me.

My youngest son has now matured into a man — a very fine man! — and is currently being educating regarding “real-life” via a variety of experiences. He works and volunteers for various tasks within our community as well as serving in our church. (Most recently volunteered to direct the activities of our Mothers’ Day celebration. ) So, I have been learning and adapting to “let go” and see him as a man in between remembrances of him as a young boy!

Yesterday I delivered him (and two of his friends) to my state’s Capitol Complex after observing him get signed in and settled at the hotel they will call “home” for this week. This photo was my (somewhat ) discreet way of capturing the moment. He went on to confirm his registration and pay for this week’s lunches, then collected his materials for Day 1 of the leadership training.

AND then — as he gave me a quick wave (What? No formal farewell??? ) and one of his million-dollar smiles — he walked on into the conference room!

I stood there with two other moms (who, coincidently were also leaving their youngest of three) — in silence. Not one of us had words and yet (even though strangers to one another) all three of us were “talking” … (screaming? ) within.

We then turned and took the first steps in silence. Then, we all laughed out loud when one of us said, “Okay. Life goes on!” and scurried to the elevator — and on to the other adventures of our busy days!

Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. ~Elizabeth T. Stone (bio)

More parenting quotes (from my favorite source for quotations).

The local news station kept us company today. Here is the link to the story.

There are a few times in life when you simply know that you have done something you will remember forever. For me, one of those times has been being part of a team of cancer survivors who trained to row a dragon boat.

Today we were sponsored in a corporate challenge dragon boat race as part of the USA Canoe/Kayak’s 2008 Olympic Team Trials for Flatwater/Sprint. We didn’t win … But we also didn’t come in last. And, we won our heat!

Although our race was nothing like this one:

We did have a great time today!

A friend sent this to me today … And I ask for you to close your eyes and imagine that I am presenting you with a blue ribbon.

This ribbon is because you have made a difference in my life.

Your love and support have allowed me to know that I am not alone and have contributed to the beautiful life I enjoy each day.

Now … Consider passing this on to at least one person who has made a difference in your life.

Far away there in the sunshine are my highest aspirations. I may not reach them, but I can look up and see their beauty, believe in them, and try to follow where they lead. ~ Louisa May Alcott

… over shark-infested waters. And, the rope is beginning to fray! That sums up what I am feeling right now.

SO, it is a good thing that I don’t live my feelings!

During the past few weeks, I have faced, like, w-a-y too many fears of the unknown, known and absolutely too well-known. There have been moments when I “feel” as though I am crawling around in the dark as part of some vain attempt to find my “happy place” and that darn Easy Button!

There have been some fabulous revelations, moments of solace and inspiration, and the comfort of a safety net (hand-tied and checked on a daily basis by a circle of beloved friends) and even a bit of “Focus Pocus” as I walk out (work out?? carve out — from stone!!) The Process!

And, the cherry on top came via my friend’s e-mail. Among the various words of encouragement, she cited one of her favorite movie quotes: “Your life is an occasion, rise to it!”

Who could resist googling this quote and learning more … Certainly not me!

The quote was spoken by Edward Magorium, as in Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. (And, yes, I will be stopping by Blockbuster later today on my way home from my classes/work.)

A vision, a plan — blended with perseverance (in the midst …) — and great friends!

… Never believe, it’s not so!

Say ye to the righteous, that it shall be well with him. ~Isaiah 3:10