. The Dessert Years .

Morning-After Sky

Last summer I journaled frequently about finding a rhythm — my rhythm. Just putting the words together seemed to empower me as I moved through a very difficult time of my life. And, honestly, it was more of the conclusion of said time, but it seemed fierce and ever-threatening nonetheless.

However, the view from this side of it enables me to see it as one of the most empowering and clarifying experiences I have been blessed to be a part of …

I began to cope differently; to see my life beyond the immediate and (in the words of Captain Jack Sparrow ) singlemindedly shout: “Now… bring me that horizon.”

(… Even as I had to periodically redirect my energies when I realized that I was out of sync with my goals.)

2007 Journal Excerpt:
This has involved breaking the cycle of my old coping patterns; and that takes time. When life gets busy, we all default to what is familiar. And, making new habits familiar is sometimes like following that Yellow-Brick Road: There is a lot of effort to “find” something you realize you already had. You simply needed to know it, live it — and just do it!

I also learned how to deal with the draining (and often pointless) emotions regarding dealing with difficult people:

• To be patient.
• To be quiet.

And while I realize that those two forms of (in)action may, at first glance, appear to be the very last way anyone wants to deal with people who seem to thrive on belittling or inflicting pain upon others … I can testify that it does in fact disable to the process. And, in truth, clogs the flow of aggravation for you, as well as the flow of supposed satisfaction for the “difficult” person.

Reacting, participating, going tit-for-tat only feeds the monster. Silence pulls the plug of the fuel supply! And, after all, you have probably said all there is to be said. Right? Difficult people do not want resolution anyway; they turn a deaf eye to the voice of reason.

So, what to do with all those perfect one-liners playing in your head when you recall a situation with said difficult person?? Journal, scream them at full volume, vent to a friend or allow the scene to play out in your head. Be as ridiculous and as loud and as rude as you feel like.

Then, return to who you are and realize that wrestlin’ with a pig only makes you muddy and mad — while the pig enjoys every minute!

Determine where your boundaries are with the “difficult people” and the reoccurring challenges in your life. Close the gate — post the “Keep Out” sign! And consider said action on your part a personal favor to the folks who just seem to thrive on chaos and doing their part to maintain it!

But most of all consider it a favor to yourself. To allow time and space and quiet to reposition you, to calm you and enable you to redirect your energy in the direction of your dreams.

Today I am keeping company with Grief. Saying good-bye to a beloved pet, shedding tears of sorrow, roads not taken by myself — and by others … And letting seeds unplanted go with the wind. I took the day off from work to rest my mind and my ailing body; and to allow for the conservation of emotional energy that will be better utilized later today (regarding quiet and patience for those difficult people ).

Arrogance and rudeness are training wheels on the bicycle of life — for weak people who cannot keep their balance without them. ~Laura Teresa Marquez