Archive for June 19th, 2008
Camp No-Whining (after extended kryptonite exposure)
Photo Credit
Corrected 05.09.09
Apparently adults do not officially whine — only children. (I know this because google.com told me! 
…)
However, apparently, they do. Especially this adult during the past 24 hours. To say I don’t have legitimate reasons for whining would not be accurate. It is just that I don’t do whining — I don’t listen to it and I do not routinely engage in it. So what is the deal??
A wise and wonderful friend pointed out that it must be because I am too close to kryptonite. Kryptonite for me most often presents within my day-to-day career as a mother. Although there are many forms of kryptonite, black kryptonite (which a person’s personality into two separate entities) causes me to whine.
Once I am exposed to it, I am immediately transformed into two separate entities: one who cries and whines and hovers — and the one I routinely “entitize” … a mature mom who realizes her babies are now adults. (Read: The one who knows the proverbial cord is cut and is living the next stage of my life — and stepping aside so her “babies” — who will now be known only as “offspring” — can live the next stage of their lives.)
So, today I signed myself up for a stay at Camp No-Whining. Camp No-Whining requires that all contact is severed with those persons who are contaminated with kryptonite. This ensures that complete detoxification is achieved. It also involves chocolate, solitude, dining out and napping.
Other activities include: doing only what I want/need to do; not helping with errands, driving lessons, wedding plans or any other miscellany involving my offspring; not preparing meals for anyone but myself and my fur-grrls (DH is out of town, this helps to accommodate this requirement); pressing “mute” when any of my three offspring begin to express their dissatisfaction regarding bosses, financial situations, summer school and especially if they are saying anything other than, “You are the greatest mom in the whole world!” or “I love you!” or my personal favorite: “Is there anything I can do for you, Mom?”
Wanna join me?
