. The Dessert Years .

As I ponder the possibilities for 2009 — I rejoice! And, I rejoice for the first time in a very long time. I am usually kicking the “old year” out the door and urging the “new year” to come in quickly! Assuming that surely a bright, shiny new year has to be better than an old one!!

So … What about you?

• Will you pack up the tools, lessons and inspirations of 2008?
• Will you leave behind those things which caused pain?
• Will you look forward and take steps (… if only baby ones) in the direction of your dreams?

Do you realize you are stronger than you believe … and that you really DO know what to do next?

Change — the hope and.or dread of — stirs us within. It brings the stuff we don’t want to deal with to the top. We see it … And often become overwhelmed and fall into the cycle of “Dread and Procrastinate.”

This cycle locks us into dealing with life in the way we always have dealt with life.

Even as we wonder why default mode isn’t working …

It isn’t working because it failed us a long time ago and we allowed “Dread and Procrastination” to control the direction of our journey.

We are all going somewhere. But are we heading in the direction of our dreams?

Do you live life on-purpose? If not, do you desire to break out of the cycle that overwhelms you?

Either way … Consider what my twitter-friend, @lfamous did. She divided her intentions (she used the “r” word … I prefer intentions) into four sections:

1. Start
2. Stop
3. Less
4. More

Change is about surrendering your expectations of “should’s and shall’s” and living a life of intention by Grace. And is as simple as deciding what you will start with, what you will stop, what you will do less and what you will do more.

Year’s end is neither an end nor a beginning but a going on, with all the wisdom that experience can instill in us. ~Hal Borland

While I know zillions of folks are in the midst of their annual ponderings of “How can next year be different?” or “Oh! I want to (fill in the blank).” or “Is this year the year for (fill in the blank)?” — I am not.

Resolutions — ala New Year’s Eve — are the same as sentencing yourself to Performance Prison. That place which confines you to a year sentence of constant performance. Where your value is completely based on how well you perform and achieve and run faster — and faster!

Running faster and imposing unrealistic expectations in order to “be all you can be” is a dead end road. In fact, it will probably only get you as far as, oh, mile marker 3 of January, 2009! You might be able to forge ahead through the bramble and make it to the end of the month of January … Maybe.

Certainly, aspirations and change are valuable aspects of Life.

I have considered (and re-solved …) all sorts of things over the years. But at some point, I just opted to accept myself. As is.

As is?

As is — flawed (Romans 3;22-24) and in desperate need of Grace — not my own inadequate works (Ephesians 2:7-9).

And because of Grace, I discovered — and now delight in! — a changed life.

Yes, it required goals and aspirations, life-changes and determined steps in the direction of my dreams. But it was not something I resolved and somehow made to occur by sheer willpower.

No, I am not merely using different words to mean the same thing … ♥

I am pointing out that change is about surrendering your expectations of “should’s and shall’s” and living a life of intention by Grace.

Such a life is accomplished with ease. It is not a life of hammering To-Do lists and running faster.

♥ Dear Reader, I believe you know what I mean. And while you may not be ready to surrender your own endless lists, your personal should’s (and the should’s of others …) at least consider what I am saying here.

Change takes time and it occurs in layers; it begins in the mere moments of your life. The precious moments of today, tomorrow and the day after that …

December Sunset © thestargarden.com

Seeds of inspiration fall into my pocket when I breath in the fresh country air and soak in the warmth from the sun as it shines over my gardens. These seeds — various and a sundry — take root in my heart as I tend to them with the fertilizer of commitment and sprinklings of time.

The full and towering Elm tree in the photo is one of my favorite trees and drapes over the fence of my backyard gardens. It presents a perfect array of tiny green sprouts in late March; sheltering shade in the relentless heat of an August afternoon; warm, golden hues in the days of late October — and the perfect focal point for the sunsets of December! ♥

And today … It illustrated what I has been Power-Pointing through my mind.

There are three main branches venturing out from the main trunk. And each of these large branches has numerous smaller branches reaching for the sky … with even smaller branches jetting off from those. A perfect visual for the techniques of Mind Mapping.

I am pondering my branches and planning for future growth. I am mind mapping.

Even as I consider my main and secondary branches — the elements of my life that have been “growing” for the longest time — I wonder “What is next?” and “When?” … Along with the other countless questions that flash in my mind!

I ponder what needs pruning or shaping regarding the wind damaged limbs and branches; I cringe as I follow the damage and realize how much needs to be cut back. Existing branches that must be removed in order to fuel — and allow for — new growth. It seems like so much … Especially when I recall the amount of pruning that remains — despite what has already been surrendered.

The lyrics to my favorite music often provide the words to express how I feel, what I am facing … And a reminder of Whom I put my trust.

LORD, You know how much
I want to know so much
In the way of answers and explanations
I have cried and prayed
And still I seem to stay
In the middle of life’s complications
All this pursuing leaves me feeling like I’m chasing down the wind
But now it’s brought me back to You
And I can see again
~Steven Curtis Chapman
“Magnificent Obsession”

I listen to this song in its entirety; I remember that I am rooted deep and founded securely upon love (Ephesians 3:16-18).

Because of that, I am resilient; I am strong.

Even as I ponder my branches … And the pruning that will continue.

I learned that we can do anything, but we can’t do everything … at least not at the same time. So think of your priorities not in terms of what activities you do, but when you do them. Timing is everything. ~Dan Millman

Admittedly, going into this Christmas season, I have been somewhat in need of my own Clarence — my own guardian angel to remind me what is truly important.

And she would have most certainly earned her wings last night!

Actually, I have several precious guardian angels. Every day they remind me what is important and are ever-faithful to comfort me when I move (read: crawl) through on my own “jump from the bridge” moments. My angels are the most dear and fabulous friends in this world!

And they have most certainly earned their wings — over and over again!

The past couple of weeks have been a bit of a rollercoaster ride. Questions, what-if’s, misunderstandings — as well as a couple of real heartbreaking situations that still need their own time for healing. And said healing will indeed take place. I am certain of that!

Sorrow and doubt swirled in my mind as I watched reruns of selected episodes of my life and wondered if anything I did regarding two precious relationships in my life really counted for anything. It wasn’t self-pity as much as yet another all-out surrender of my own doubts coupled with a gritty determination to observe new traditions and savor new moments of joy as I opened my own precious presents within the moments of this Christmas season.

It has not been easy; it has been an turbulent and emotional journey …

One I was ever-grateful to have traveling partners alongside!

Even when I ignored them …

Life is about the journey — not the destinations.

Within the journey we discover opportunities to learn, to grow and to laugh out loud (even if only to return to tears!).

When arrive as our destination. When we move through the immediate and discover once again what truly matters — what is truly important!

In that moment we celebrate!

And I celebrate today! Merry Christmas! ♥

P.S. I know you may remain in situations that whirl and turn and jerk you around. I have heard from (and been blessed by!) so many of you; we have comforted one another on several levels. And although no one wants to see new members to our club — we are indeed a sisterhood and we stand together. Move through today at your own speed; and do whatever you need to do to in order to get through these moments … ‘Cause we have a brand new year to plan for and celebrate!

Related Posts:

• My “tell-all” post
• A New Beginning
• Moving Through

♥ In the event you have never actually watched this Christmas classic … It’s a Wonderful Life synopsis

There is in every true woman’s heart a spark of heavenly fire, which lies dormant in the broad daylight of prosperity; but which kindles up, and beams and blazes in the dark hour of adversity. ~Washington Irving, The Sketch Book, 1820

There is a certain relief in change, even though it be from bad to worse; as I have found in traveling in a stage coach, that it is often a comfort to shift one’s position and be bruised in a new place. ~Washington Irving,  Tales of a Traveler

♥ More inspiring and comforting quotes by Washington Irving … [link]

Becoming mature means learning to accept what you cannot change, facing unresolved sorrows and learning to love life as it really happens, not as you would have it happen. When someone attaches unkindness to criticism, she’s angry. Angry people need to criticize as an outlet for their anger. That’s why you must reject unkind criticism. Unkind criticism is never part of a meaningful critique of you. Its purpose is not to teach or to help, its purpose is to punish. Life isn’t supposed to be an all or nothing battle between misery and bliss. Life isn’t supposed to be a battle at all. And when it comes to happiness, well, sometimes life is just okay, sometimes it’s comfortable, sometimes wonderful, sometimes boring, sometimes unpleasant. When your day’s not perfect, it’s not a failure or a terrible loss. It’s just another day.   ~Barbara Sher

And the Grinch, with his grinch-feet ice-cold in the snow,
Stood puzzling and puzzling: “How could it be so?”
“It came without ribbons! It came without tags!”
“It came without packages, boxes or bags!”
And he puzzled three hours, `til his puzzler was sore.
Then the Grinch thought of something he hadn’t before!
“Maybe Christmas,” he thought, “doesn’t come from a store.”
“Maybe Christmas. Perhaps. Means a little bit more!”

The colors of the sky seem so much more vivid in the winter. All of my very favorite photos of the sky — sunrises, sunsets, clouds — are from cold December days.

I wonder if this reflects nature or the nature of the observer.

Perhaps a little of both?

December is the month when I dream of walking on a sunny beach (with the greatest frequency). The long periods of darkness, the piercing winds, the random family times and the emotions of those ever-present memories of Christmas Past are cause for the healing, slow, easy steps on soft, cool sand along a shoreline. To be able to breath in the sea air and tune in to the rhythm of crashing waves and look out over the horizon line of sea and sky, beckoning your mind to lift anchor and sail off into wonder …

Did you ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

~Winnie the Pooh

Note: I am already moving through the third of my “Christmas (mis)adventures with family” — with high hopes that I will maintain my focus upon what is important (and in my control!!! ). So, instead of venting verbiage (that could live forever on the WWW …) I am doing what any self-respecting mother would do. I am nibbling on homemade fudge and caramel pecans while I peruse recipes!

Here are the recipes I promised.

♥ Swiss Miss
1 shot of espresso
1/8 C Swiss Miss hot chocolate mix
1 C of steamed whole milk

♥ Easiest
Torani chocolate syrup, to taste
add fresh-brewed coffee

♥ Hershey’s Cocoa
2 T cocoa powder
1 shot of espresso -or- fresh-brewed coffee
steamed whole milk -or- cream and sugar, to taste

♥ Dark Chocolate
2 T of dark chocolate pieces
1 shot of espresso -or- fresh-brewed coffee
(stir until chocolate completely dissolved)
steamed whole milk -or- cream

♥ Easiest for iced …
2 T Nestle’s Quik
1 shot of espresso
whole milk
Use a blender to mix; then add about 1 C crushed ice

I am still determined to be cheerful and happy, in whatever situation I may be; for I have also learned from experience that the greater part of our happiness or misery depends upon our dispositions, and not upon our circumstances. ~Martha Washington

December Sunrise

Ever carry baggage from the previous day with you into the “today”?

As I sip on my mug of café mocha (will post some recipes later …) I am pondering this about myself.

Why do we do that? Why do we insist of beating ourselves over yesterday? Today has quite enough worries and anxieties of its own!

We know that … but it becomes such a habit to drag around the baggage of yesterday. Baggage that is so very cumbersome — and so very familiar.

Familiar — but of absolutely no comfort or use.

Let’s face it: Each of us make mistakes. However, what we do at the point of realization regarding said mistake is the difference between moving on or dragging the sorrow and burdens of yesterday into this day. And tomorrow. And the day after that …

It is not what happens to us that determines who are — and who we will be! It is what we do with what happens.

• How do you react to difficult situations?
• To people who seem locked-in on causing confusion and pain?
• To yourself when you consider your actions a mistake?

How do you react to the process of change?

• Do you roll forward with the events and new ways of facing challenges?
• Or do you rock back and forth, merely inching in the direction of forward?
• Do you allow 15 seconds for change to occur before deeming yourself a failure?

Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day; begin it well and serenely and with too high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

♥ P.S. Here is permission to let go of situations that cause you pain. Some situations just “are” and cannot be changed until there is healing agreement regarding the issue. Do what you can about your half … Trust God for the rest. Seriously.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results. ~Albert Einstein

For as long as I can remember I have believed I had too many words. I viewed it as some sort of curse because no matter what, I seemed to experience life verbally — way verbally! To this day, it is as though every situation has at least 12,000 words to offer me. And I accept them all!

Miscellaneous collections of words, phrases and sentences are stashed within my memory (mental and my hard drive!). Said words have enabled me to learn lessons such as: words are stepping stones on the path of healing; writing is art; expression is a gift … That the words I write can prove to be encouraging and helpful to so many different people, in so many different ways … This “education” (especially learning more about the last lesson) has enriched my life in ways I actually don’t have words to describe.

Other lessons I have learned through my writing — my blogs and my other various verbal habits — is to be authentic …

To be myself, to say what I have to say, to be quiet when I don’t have words of benefit. To accept the way I am. In Christ.

To sparkle … and to embrace my eclectic, ugly duckling life and remember that I am .

To follow my dreams and to embrace Romans 8:26-28 — for all it is worth!

Other notations …

What makes you uncomfortable is the first clue to your next discovery — your next victory! ~Star Gardener